


Angel With a Shotgun

by RoSH (RoSH95)



Category: No. 6 - All Media Types, No. 6 - Asano Atsuko
Genre: Love, M/M, Nezumi gets it, Reunions, Self-Harm, Shion copes as best he can, Songfic, which is not well at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 21:04:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8683282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoSH95/pseuds/RoSH
Summary: They say before you start a war,You better know what you're fighting for.Well, baby, you are all that I adore.If love is what you need, a soldier I will be.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a sort of companion fic to my other songfic Clarity, but also not at all. You'll understand if you read them both. Anyways, I took a little longer to write this one than I did with Clarity, so hopefully it makes more sense XD
> 
> I was trying to write this story in a way where I try to write how the character would respond to each line of lyrics, but the story kind of got away from me XD
> 
> Hope you like it!

_Get out your guns, battle's begun. Are you a saint or a sinner?_

You used to think of yourself as something of a saint. Of course, you weren’t conceited enough to believe that you were by any means perfect, but Nezumi, Inukashi, and Rikiga all called you innocent and angelic enough times that you believed you were without sin.

That was naïve of you.

After the correctional facility, you no longer believed that you were a saint. You had _killed_ in the correctional facility; grabbed a gun and shot a man to death. And surely, _surely_ , that made you as bad as them.

No matter what Nezumi said, you were no saint.

_If love's a fight, then I shall die with my heart on a trigger._

But you could never bring yourself to regret your actions in the correctional facility. You killed for Nezumi’s sake; you would do it all over again. Had you not killed that man, Nezumi would be dead, and that was something you would never have survived.

Sometimes you stare too long at the knife on the kitchen counter.

_They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for._

You started a war down in the correctional facility and neither you nor Nezumi knew what the fuck you were even doing. You did it save Safu, but in the end it was all for nothing. And no one knows why Nezumi did it. Perhaps it was as he said and he used you and Safu as a means to take down No. 6.

But you never believed that; not even when Nezumi first said it to you. You were angry and upset enough at yourself that you just turned your anger on Nezumi when he presented the opportunity.

_Well, baby, you are all that I adore._

Nezumi is everything to you. He is someone you admire, trust, _love_. He’s your soul, someone you trust with your entire being. You absolutely adore him, even if he did leave you behind as he went off soul searching.

You know it’s something he has to do alone, and you will be here waiting for him with your window open when he comes back. After all, he promised that reunion would come, and Nezumi _never_ breaks his promises.

_If love is what you need, a soldier I will be._

You know what Nezumi is searching for, out in the vast world beyond the walls of No. 6. He’s trying to remember how to love himself; how to be more than a steaming ball of hate. And no matter how much you think he could have found that here, you understand why he left.

He left so that you would have room to grow. To be able to survive without him there to take care of you. And it’s worked, it’s working. You’re alive and healthy and leading your city back into the light of what it was supposed to be. But you’re not happy, not without Nezumi.

_I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won,_

You won’t give up, though. Because you know he’s coming back. So you’ll fight to live on, no matter how many stupid little rebellions you have to quell in order to do that.

Sometimes you think the citizens of No. 6 are a little bit stupid in the head. Can’t they see that everything you’re doing is benefitting the city? But they just can’t seem to see past the fact that everything you’re doing is taking away more of their wealth.

And so, they protest; they rebel. Someone even tried to assassinate you at one point. Obviously they didn’t succeed, but it’s the principle of the thing that bothers you. It means people are unhappy; that you aren’t doing a good enough job with the city.

You think about giving up sometimes; quitting your job on the Restructural Committee and just giving up on this goddamn city. But then you think of what Nezumi would say. And you can’t, you _can’t_. Nezumi would never forgive you for giving up. There’s so much more you can do.

_I don't care if heaven won't take me back._

You’ve done a lot of bad things, amidst all the good. You’ve hurt people while trying to stomp out the rebellions. And you still hate the side of you that goes nearly crazy at the sight of blood; it’s not as bad as what happens when you think Nezumi might be in danger, but it’s still pretty bad.

You care a lot about all the bad things you’ve done; sometimes maybe too much. Sometimes, though, you don’t care enough.

There’s a side of you that’s coldhearted and mean-spirited, and it’s coming out increasingly these days. It gives you the ability to make the hard decisions, which is good, but it still scares you. Because Nezumi wouldn’t like this side of you.

Sometimes you grab the knife on the kitchen counter and make little marks up your arms, like a ladder you could climb to Nezumi.

_I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe._

One day, when you’ve had more than you can bear, you throw open your windows and scream out into the stormy night sky. There’s rain plastering your hair to your face and your clothes are soaked through and you’re cold as _hell_ , but you feel better than you have in months.

You took everything you had kept pent up inside and hurled it out the window. The way you did with your faith in this city eight years ago; the night you met Nezumi.

_Don't you know you're everything I have?_

You stay out in the rain much longer than you probably should, thinking about Nezumi and everything you went through with him. It’s been almost four years since he left. Three years, eleven months, and fifteen days to be exact. Is it a little strange that you’ve kept count?

But Nezumi is everything, so you don’t dare to lose track. You glance up at the stormy night sky and wish you could see the stars.

_‘Is it raining where you are, Nezumi?’_

The next day, you have a cold.

_And I wanna live, not just survive tonight._

 

_Sometimes to win, you've got to sin. Don't mean I'm not a believer._

You wear long-sleeved shirts to cover the scars on your wrists. They’re ugly and people would ask questions if they saw. You know what you’re doing isn’t healthy, but you can’t help it. Sometimes the only thing that stops the pain is the cold, hard edge of the knife drawing across your skin.

You argue with the other members of the Restructural Committee. Some of them agree with your ideals, but others, like the representative of Chronos, disagree vehemently. Sometimes you’ve got to find compromises to get anything done.

_And major Tom will sing along. Yeah, they still say I'm a dreamer._

“You’re a dreamer, Shion,” one of the members says. “The things you want to do for this city, they’ll never get done.”

You grit your teeth to stop yourself from yelling at him because he doesn’t know the task that Safu and Nezumi have left you with. He will never understand how disappointed they would be if you failed.

_They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for._

Three years, eleven months, and twenty-five days after the fall of No. 6, he comes home.

It’s in the middle of the night and he comes in through your window, just like you always expected. His silky black hair is down to the middle of his back now. His shoulders are broader and his jaw is sharper, and somehow it only adds to his androgynous looks. His eyes are still exactly the same shade you remember them being and, for a minute, you can’t breathe.

_Well, baby, you are all that I adore._

“ _Nezumi_ …” you breathe and he blinks at the sound of his name.

“Shion,” he says casually and your knees buckle.

Somehow, he moves fast enough to catch you before you hit the floor and he lowers you both gently to the ground.

You stare into his eyes as he strokes the side of your face, thumb rubbing against the scar of the red snake. There’s so much emotion there, more than you think you’ve ever seen in him before.

_If love is what you need, a soldier I will be._

His hand trails down the side of your neck, over your shoulder, and down to your wrist.

“What are these?” he asks quietly, tracing your scars with his fingers, his eyes never leaving your face.

You belatedly realize you’re wearing a short-sleeved shirt.

“You were gone,” you say simply. When he raises an eyebrow, you continue, “I didn’t know how to stop the pain.”

There’s a flood of sadness and regret in those dark eyes, before his hand hooks behind your neck and pulls you in to rest your head against his chest.

You can hear his heart beating as he says, “I’m here now. I won’t leave you again.”

_I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won,_

Somehow that’s what sends you over the edge. You reach up to cling onto him, fingers digging into the cloth of his jacket, and the floodgates open.

You babble nonsensically as you cry, alternating between screaming at Nezumi for leaving you and proclaiming your love for him repeatedly.

He just holds on and strokes your back in a soothing circular motion.

_I don't care if heaven won't take me back._

You don’t know how long you sit on the floor, bawling your heart out, but eventually the tears stop flowing and your hiccupping breaths finally calm.

You lift your head to look at him and notice his eyes are wet and there are tear tracks on his face. He blinks and a stray tear escapes to trail down his face. You reach up to wipe it away and he _lets_ you, and that speaks volumes about how much he’s changed.

“I wanted to come back as soon as I left,” he finally says, and his voice is shaky, “but I knew I couldn’t, not so soon. I never stopped thinking about you, Shion. You were always at the front of my thoughts. I missed you so much, every day. It was torture being away, but I finally found what I was looking for.”

_I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe._

You smile tearily at him, but don’t ask what it is he found. You already know. He came back, after all.

For a while, the two of you just sit there on the floor of your bedroom, staring into each other’s eyes memorizing the contours of your faces. His cheekbones are sharper than they used to be, but not in a way that emphasizes hunger. You feel relieved that he seems to have been eating better than he did in West Block.

Eventually, Nezumi pulls you to your feet. For a second, you fear that the moment is over, but he just guides you to your bed and pulls you down on top of him as he collapses in it.

_Don't you know you're everything I have?_

He strokes your hair for a short time as you listen to his heart beat. You count the seconds between each beat so you know immediately when his heartbeat starts to speed up.

He swallows hard and opens his mouth.

“You don’t have to say it,” you whisper.

_And I wanna live, not just survive_

“I _want_ to say it,” he replies.

You lift your head to look him in the eyes. If he’s going to say it, you want to be able to see his eyes and know if he’s telling the truth.

Nezumi takes a breath.

_And I'm gonna hide, hide, hide my wings tonight._

“I love you.”

_They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for._

_Well, baby, you are all that I adore._

_If love is what you need, a soldier I will be._

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are the lifeblood of authors so if you liked this fic, please drop me a comment! I'm working on another NezuShi story right now (a chapter story this time!) so keep an eye out for that :)


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